you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
