Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You need Xanax blowdarts
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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