Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
