i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
