Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
