Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
