Too much gin, very little bucket
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
