Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
