what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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