It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
