Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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