Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
