Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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