So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't deserve a penis
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
