It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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