I'm gonna have a badass scar
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The best revenge is premature balding
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
