What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
