got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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