I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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