I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
