Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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