I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
