May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
