I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
