I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
A+ Viking dick
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
