I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
