did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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