I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
