I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
