Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
