I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are the jesus of drinking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
