I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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