ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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