i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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