Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
