We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
