I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
