I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
