And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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