It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i will never coherently bang her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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