Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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