Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
