return my video game
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
