Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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