That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
