Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
