He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
