Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
