"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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