please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
