I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
