you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
