You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
