Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
