We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
