you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
